Dive watches. For most of us, the first watch to come through – or at least one of the first few – was a diver. The Seiko SKX007/009, Citizen Promaster, Orient Mako and Kamasu, and Casio Duro, to name a few in particular, have lived on the wrists of many an enthusiast and casual watch-wearer alike. For many, dive watches have actually gone diving and fulfilled their intended purposes; tool watches designed to withstand the forces of the ocean and tell the stories of divers all over the world. For many others still, the closest these watches have gotten to becoming true scuba gear would maybe be a few days at the beach in the summer, laps in the pool, getting caught in the rain, or doing the dishes.
Desk divers…the horror...
Eh, oh well. In all honesty, this is part of the reality of life; after all, have you met anyone wearing an Omega Speedmaster who has been to the moon? Does every Rolex Yachtmaster owner really own a yacht? How many people wearing G-Shock Mr-G references actually go by Mr. G?
We’d better slow down now…asking hard-hitting journalistic questions like these might just be too much for modern media to handle.
Instead of trying to break the internet, let’s go through five ways that a dive watch – and specifically those with dive bezels – can prove useful in our normal, not-quite-as-exciting-as-the-advertisement lives:
1) Laundry
For those of you who are fortunate enough to have a washer/dryer directly in your actual living space…well, good for you. Unless it’s in your kitchen, in which case congratulations on the landlord special.
For the rest of us living in city apartments, laundry can often be a hassle-and-a-half, whether it be a decent-ish washer/dryer combo in the building basement that still takes quarters or – and definitively, unequivocally, and without debate the worst laundry option – you have to make the bi-weekly pilgrimage to the local laundromat. Unless you have a more tame attention span than I do, you’re likely going to have that itch to not sit and watch the laundry machines do their thing, and that’s where the dive bezel comes into play. A quick rotation and several satisfying clicks later, you’re well on your way to taking a walk around the laundromat block or returning to your apartment to do…literally anything else. A glance down here, a glance down there, and then head on back to finish nobody’s favorite chore.
“But I can just set an alarm on my phone that tells me when the-“
No. Stop it. That’s no fun and you know it. Live a little. Or get a G-Shock with an actual alarm function if you must…
2) Cooking
Place the pan on a medium heat for 10-12 minutes, stirring periodically…
These cooking instructions were clearly not written by an Italian. I grew up in Southern New Jersey in a big Italian family, and when I say not a kitchen timer was ever used, I mean it; there was always a sense of just knowing how long something needed to be cooked, prepared, baked, etc., and so even after kitchen appliances all would upgrade into the versions with clocks and timers, they would never be set or utilized properly “because we just know it, you see.”
If, like me, Italian heritage or not, you don’t just know it, then the dive bezel will keep you from overcooking pasta or forgetting about cookies in the oven. 5 minutes before flipping? A few clicks and you’re there, the hero of breakfast dishes everywhere. 45 minutes before switching to broil? You’re the person for the job, and bonus points for any dive bezels with a 15-minute warning zone either in double hash marks or another color; you’re prepared to be prepared, never taken by surprise.
“Yeah but it’s so convenient to set the timer on the microwave or oven, when it’s done the beep can tell you-“
*sighs* I can see this is going to be a difficult process, convincing you of why the dive bezel is the best way to time your life. Maybe you’re used to the luxuries of modern technological advancement, and hey, I get that. But life’s too short to take the easy way out of everything, and we all deserve that little bit of poeticism that comes from…
3) Conversations
…expertly and inconspicuously giving yourself a defined window of how long to stay engaged in a conversation you didn’t want to have in the first place.
We’ve all been there. Bar in your hometown and someone from high school wants to compare life stories. Work happy hour and your coworker somehow got double the allotted drink tickets (and it shows). You’re enjoying a pint and the Red Sox game, not bothering a soul, and the guy next to you goes from “is this seat taken?” to “and you know what really gets under my skin about local union meetings” in less than 30 seconds.
All unfortunate predicaments. All solvable with a dive bezel.
Give it a few clicks, maybe it’s ten minutes, maybe it’s two, but give yourself a defined, short window.
“Ah shoot, well this has been nice but it’s about that time for me.”
“Oh come on you can stay! What else do you really have to do?”
*produces watch with dive bezel and minute hand aligned together in sweet, freedom-bearing unity at the 42-minute mark*
“4:42 is the time I gave myself to be able to catch the right train outta here, if I don’t leave now, I’ll never get home! You know how pesky those public transport schedules can be…”
“Oh my dude say no more, I totally get it. Next time I see you remind me to show you my newest NFT series, they’re based off of the gorilla ones but where I deviate from that is in the-“
“Sorry man, time to run, have a good night!”
Just like that, you’re out, free, no longer stuck in that conversation. It’s the perfect getaway tactic, and by now I’ve surely convinced you that the dive bezel is the ultimate daily timing tool.
“Well, what if you tried just being honest and saying you would rather be left alone or that you’re watching the game or-“
*sighs again*
Have you never been outdoors before? You can’t just say that you don’t want to talk to someone – that’s basically issuing a challenge for that person to convince you that you do actually want to be talking to them! Getaways are the only ways, but hey, maybe the scope of things here is too narrow for your specific use. Let’s open it up a bit into our next set of examples:
4) Random Things
Anyone who has lived in Boston will be familiar enough with the various train lines that run through the city. The Green Line, in particular, is the source of much frustration when it comes to its completely inconsistent travel times. Going from Cleveland Circle to St. Mary’s Street (my old train commute)? You’re looking at anything between 15 and 45 minutes, and there’s not a whole lot of rhyme or reason to the “why” either. So what I would do each morning getting on the train (in the pre-pandemic times anyways) would be to set my dive bezel out for as long as I’d bet myself the journey would take. Inconsequential? Perhaps. Satiating that inner competitive streak by betting with or against myself? Absolutely.
After having moved to within walking distance of my office last year, now I’ll time my walk to work and try to compete with myself for quickest walk to-and-from work. While this next level of self-competition really isn’t what the original creators of the dive bezel would’ve anticipated – or hoped really – to be the intended use, it does at least provide some measure with which to compare one day’s walk to another.
This is really the catch-all function for the dive bezel; you can time anything you set your heart on, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! But if timing walks, travel, and other random events still doesn’t convince you to put that tool to good use, here’s one more, last-ditch daily use:
5) Fidget Spinner
You have a difficult time sitting still and will instantaneously be everyone’s least favorite person in the room. That is all. Do what you must, and yes, this is an article-acknowledged option for the dive bezel, but might I recommend an alternative fidget-friendly object, such as putty or a stress ball…something, anything, that doesn’t click…
All in all, the dive bezel is a practical piece of timekeeping that, though not always in a space for its true purpose, can be utilized in our daily lives…with a touch of sarcasm and silliness, of course. Consider this to be a small reminder to not take things too seriously; after all, they’re only watches.
As always, wherever you are, and wherever you’re going, many thanks for stopping by.
Dive Bezels...
Hi Mike,
I’m not an educated Man so it takes a lot for me to be interested and enjoy reading, I really enjoyed this article I think you hit the nail on the head with a lot of points, very interesting but not to heavy
Heath 👏👏👏😀
If your job ever goes south, you have to pursue comedic writing/satire... Hilariously written article but completely accurate from the perspective of a diver lover! Plus some things I hadn't yet considered as options for using my divers that I know just try! Thanks as always for a wonderful piece!